“If anyone's looking for an apology," says Busch, "they can find it----in my dust, which they can also eat. If people want to label me NASCAR's 'face of evil,' then that’s just fine and dandy. I've been the bad guy ever since it became clear that my ears would be smaller than my brother Kurt's. I race to win. I don't race for money, or to sell M&M's, Snickers, or Pedigree dog food, or to promote the new Indiana Jones movie, a paint scheme of which my car at Darlington will feature. Nothing against Dale, Jr., but his talent as a driver is exceeded only by his uncanny ability to play the victim. But that’s not by his doing. Look, I know Junior's upset with his winless streak now at 72 races. How does he think I feel? I've gone an entire week without a win. I'm used to measuring the time between wins in hours, not days, weeks, or races."

2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: As Earnhardt tried to protect his race lead from the charging Kyle Busch, the two made contact, spinning the #88 Amp Chevy into the wall and sending the supporters of "Junior Nation" into a frenzy, while their undergarments bunched up into the collective wad the size of the Richmond International Speedway infield. Earnhardt, denied a chance to halt his lengthy winless streak, dropped to 15th, and remained third in the point standings, now 104 behind Busch.

"Busch did nothing wrong," says Earnhardt. "It was purely a racing incident. I know my people are livid and ready to 'Amp-Busch,' but I say to them, 'Check your anger and channel it into something productive, like charity work, good deeds, anger management classes, or the purchase of a roll of Kyle Busch Toilet Paper from the Dale Earnhardt, Jr. merchandise catalog.' Like Kyle Busch in a car, Kyle Busch Toilet paper leaves a mark when it hits you."

3. Denny Hamlin: In one of the most dominant performances that did not result in a win, Hamlin lead 381 of the first 382 laps before a deflating right tire spoiled his day. The Joe Gibbs driver then steadily fell back before finally stopping on the track to bring out the caution. Hamlin was penalized two laps for intentionally causing a caution, and he eventually finished 24th, three laps down. Some had accused Hamlin of causing the caution to allow Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch to close the gap on Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who was leading at the time.

"Hey, it’s Joe Gibbs Racing,” says Hamlin, “not ‘G.I.’ Joe Gibbs Racing. It’s not, ‘All for one and one for all.’ It’s ‘every man for himself’ here. I think the fact that Busch, Stewart, and myself are so competitive is the reason Joe Gibbs is having such a good season. And we’re not afraid to speak our minds. You can’t just pull a string and expect to hear some non-controversial, cookie-cutter comments from us, like you can over at Hendrick Motorsports. "

“As for my intent for bringing out a caution? The same as Michael Waltrip’s ramming of Casey Mears—purely for selfish reasons. We should all commend Waltrip for his actions; I think that’s the first time he hit his mark on the track this year. Those crash test dummies over at Michael Waltrip Racing are a weekly testament to the safety of these cars.”

4. Jeff Burton: Despite starting 33rd and sustaining fender damage in a multi-car, lap 231 accident, Burton and the #31 AT&T team regrouped for a 11th-place finish, his series-leading tenth top-15 finish of the year. He did, however, lose his Sprint Cup points lead to Kyle Busch, who finished second.

"Despite his being the most hated man in the world this side of North Korea,” says Burton, “Kyle Busch is just what this sport needs---someone totally the opposite of me. He's brash, bold, and cocky. He reminds me of Dale Earnhardt, Sr., just without the respect of all his peers, the seven Cup championships, and the ability to grow facial hair. He's a real talent. I wouldn't have a problem losing anything to Kyle, except for my virginity."

5. Kevin Harvick: Harvick opted for four ties late in Saturday's race, hoping fresh rubber would allow him to catch the leaders, but ultimately, there were not enough laps for Harvick to make progress. He finished eighth for his fifth top-10 finish of the year and moved up one spot in the point standings to fifth.

"I'd like to congratulate my teammate Clint Bowyer for his win in Saturday's race," says Harvick. "The ‘Nature’ Bowyer really deserved this one. Normally, when Clint wins, we celebrate with a shot of Jack Daniels. This time, however, he was in the BB&T sponsored car, so we reveled in the win by foreclosing on a few homes."

"I'd also like to express my support for the Craftsman truck teams in the works by NFL star Randy Moss and former NBA player Brad Daugherty. We need minority involvement in the sport, and it's great to have the black hillbilly demographic represented by two of the most countrified brothers in the United States. What’s next? A truck team owned by Uncle Remus? Hey, I'm all for anything that will keep Daugherty out of the Nationwide Series broadcast booth. As for Moss, the sport of racing was built on 'moonshining,' so he should fit right in. I can't wait for him to moon a rival car owner. Of course, in the world of racing, that wouldn't even raise eyebrows. Anyway, I fully support Moss' new venture, 'Cluster Truck Racing.'"

6. Clint Bowyer: Running third late in the race, Bowyer was in position to mop up after Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Kyle Busch scrapped, leaving Earnhardt spinning and Busch scrambling to avoid him. Bowyer picked up his first Sprint Cup win of the year and second of his career.

"It feels great to win,” says Bowyer. “We here at Richard Childress Racing pride ourselves on being in position to win every week. Apparently for us, being ‘in position to win’ is running third late in the race just before the two leaders wreck and knock themselves out of contention, opening the door for an RCR car to slip through the smoke for the win. Jeff Burton did it at Bristol when Tony Stewart and Kevin Harvick tangled. I did the same in Richmond. Some may call it being 'cotton-picking lucky.' I call it being 'cherry-picking good.'"

7. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished seventh in Richmond, rebounding from his 40th at Talladega, to maintain the ninth spot in the Sprint Cup point standings. More notably, he dropped the 'F'-bomb, losing his 'free agent' status when he resigned with Roush Fenway Racing for three more years, a development that had Jack Roush celebrating and Matt Kenseth searching for loopholes in his own contract.

"I know Matt and I have had our differences," says Edwards, "but I'm trying to mend fences. It's going to be tough. Just the other day, I told Matt I wanted to 'bounce some ideas off of him,' and he ran out of the room screaming."

"Anyway, it's good to have crew chief Bob Osborne back, refreshed from six weeks of cheaters vacation, where he underwent rigorous, intensive training on securing a loose oil reservoir cover. While he was gone, he had plenty of time to think, so I'm expecting him to have some new tricks up his sleeve. I'm not sure how making a shank from a toothbrush can give us more horsepower, but I'm willing to listen. And I was quite flattered when Bob showed me his new tattoo, 'C-A-R-L' across his right knuckles."

8. Tony Stewart: Stewart finished a quiet fourth in the Dan Lowry 400, taking a back seat to the drama provided by Joe Gibbs teammates Kyle Busch and Denny Hamlin. Stewart is now eighth in the points, 198 from the top, as rumors continue about his future with Joe Gibbs Racing. The latest gossip---Stewart will start his own team with Bass Pro Shops as the primary sponsor.

“If that’s the case,” says Stewart, “then so be it. Can you imagine the number of suckers that would fall for the Bass Pro Shops Tony Stewart ‘Smoke On The Water’ fishing boat? It retails for $45,000. Have it signed by the five members of Deep Purple, and it's yours for $12,000."

9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson, twice a winner at Richmond last year, was involved in a lap 231 accident that brought out the red flag and caused serious damage to the #48 Hendrick Impala. When racing resumed, Johnson headed to the pits for extensive repairs, and returned to the track in a car with no hood, in 35th position. He battled his way to an eventual finish of 30th, which cost him two places in the points. Johnson is now seventh, 177 points behind Kyle Busch.

“We debated long and hard about whether to leave the hood on or take it off,” says Johnson. “It's a dilemna that new parents of male children face every day. In the end, Rabbi Chad Knaus made the decision to take it off, which is odd, because Chad's used to putting things on to make the car go faster, not taking them off."

10. Jeff Gordon: After changing an engine, Gordon started dead last in Richmond and was a lap down by lap 45. But driving skill one would expect from a four-time champ, coupled with wise decisions in the pits, gave the team a ninth-place finish, a spectacular result under the circumstances. Gordon moved up one place in the points to 13th, where he is a mere six points out of 12th, which, ten races into the year, means absolutely nothing.

“As chases go,” says Gordon, “the NASCAR Chase for the Sprint Cup has to be the slowest one around. We drivers are a persistent bunch. If normal folks had to chase something for 36 weeks to catch it, they would give up easily."

"As a team, we could have packed our bags when we were slumping and given up. But this team stayed strong, and crew chief Steve Letarte finally made the calls that gave me a drivable car. Earlier in the year, Steve couldn't do anything right. Heck, I thought he might be 'Letarte'd,' but I think his performance at Richmond proved otherwise."