NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kansas
Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Carl Edwards: Edwards posted his series-best tenth top-10 result of the year, placing fifth in the STP 400 at Kansas. He increased his lead in the Sprint Cup point standings, and now leads Jimmie Johnson by 40.
“As temperatures rose,” Edwards said, “the track conditions changed, and we weren’t able to stay on top of those. But, I’ll never complain about finishing fifth, unless it’s in a fight between me, the two Busch brothers, and two girls.
“I consider myself an expert on physical confrontations. But never in a thousand years could I have foreseen a car owner assaulting a driver. Normally, Richard Childress is very calm and level-headed. I’m not sure how that team will respond without the brains of the operation. It seems that RCR has lost its ‘mind.’”
2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick came home 11th at Kansas, Richard Childress Racing’s top finisher, just missing his eighth top-10 finish of the year. Harvick fell two spots in the point standings to fourth, and now trails Carl Edwards by 43.
“Like a lot of cars,” Harvick said, “we had handling issues. That’s quite different than the problem Kyle Busch experienced. That was a case of man-handling issues. Richard Childress kicked it old school. And by ‘it,’ I mean Busch’s tail.
“RCR, drivers and owners alike, have declared war on Kyle Busch. It’s a team effort. I got inside Busch’s head; Richard Childress went upside it.”
3. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished second at Kansas, coming up short in a fuel-mileage race for the second straight week. This time, though, Earnhardt’s No. 88 Amp Chevy had the fuel to finish, but so did race winner Brad Keselowski, who held off Earnhardt over the final nine laps. Earnhardt moved up one spot in the point standings to third, trailing Carl Edwards by 41.
“Keselowski made the most of his last stop for fuel,” Earnhardt said. “I knew we had the gas to finish, so all I could do while trailing the No. 2 Miller Lite Dodge was hope for ‘less filling.’ Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. I’m tempted to say ‘You win some, you lose some,’ but only half of that statement would be true.
“To my fans, I can only say ‘Hang it there.’ Junior Nation is experiencing pain at the pump. I strongly advise them to have a taste of a hot new product, Amp Energy Shot, fortified with a blast of penicillin. Hey, you know what they say: ‘What happens in the infield stays, period.’ In the meantime, we’ll keep working hard to unlock the secret to winning, as well as the secret to determining the No. 88 car’s exact mileage.”
4. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson started 31st at Kansas and battled a loose race car for much of the race on Kansas Speedway’s slick surface. Timely adjustments enabled Johnson to battle near the front late in the race, but a late pit stop for fuel set him back before he charged to a finish of seventh. He moved up one spot in the point standings to second and trails Carl Edwards by 40.
“We had the car to win,” Johnson said, “but gas mileage bit us in the end. This week, we lost time because we had to top off the fuel tank. Last week in Charlotte, we lost time because we ‘topped off’ the car with an adjustment wrench.
“I’m appalled by the Richard Childress-Kyle Busch fiasco. And I think any other driver would feel the same if Chad Knaus attacked a rival driver. Was it a case of ‘butt heads’ or ‘buttheads?’ This kind of thing is certainly not what NASCAR needs, unless they want people to watch. Incidentally, Jerry Springer would make a great Grand Marshall.”
5. Kyle Busch: A day after a heated altercation with Richard Childress, Busch finished 12th in the STP 400 on Sunday. Busch remained fifth in the Sprint Cup point standings and trails Carl Edwards by 60.
“What did NASCAR almost say to Childress after he slugged me on Saturday?” Busch said. “’You’re not in Kansas anymore.’ Alas, Childress was allowed to hang around at the track, where he faced a slightly more enjoyable form of assault: being ‘slapped’ on the back in congratulations.
“Realistically, I should be first in the point standings, because everybody is after me. Childress’ aggression put me in a no-win situation, which happens to always be the situation when a Busch brother fights. If I fight back, I’ll be accused of beating up a senior citizen. If I don’t fight back, I’m a wimp. I either save face or lose face. That’s why, when faced with a physical confrontations, I always do an about face, and turn the other cheek.”
6. Kurt Busch: Busch started from the pole and led 152 of 267 laps, but had to settle for a ninth-place finish after surrendering the lead to pit for fuel with ten laps to go. It was Busch’s second-straight top-10 finish, and he maintained sixth in the point standings, 71 out of first.
“With better fuel mileage,” Busch said, “we could have won the race. I think it’s easy for people to listen to my radio communication and tell how the race is going. In Kansas, the further my fuel gauge strayed from ‘F,’ the closer my language veered to ‘F.’
“I think Richard Childress should have shown a little more restraint. I know that’s hard when dealing with a Busch brother, but Childress should look to Roger Penske for inspiration. Roger’s wanted to punch me for years now, but hasn’t.”
7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished sixth at Kansas, earning his sixth top-10 result of the season. He held on to the seventh spot in the Sprint Cup point standings and trails Carl Edwards by 73.
“If you asked fans to recall their favorite articles involving drivers being bullied,” Kenseth said, “you can be sure my name would appear in a number of the ‘submissions.’”
8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin posted his fourth-straight top-10 finish, and fifth in the last six races, with a third in the STP 400 at Kansas. He improved one place in the point standings to 11th, 104 out of first, as he continues his gradual climb in the points after a dismal start to the season.
“I dug myself a hole with my early-season performance,” Hamlin said. “But I can’t beat myself up over that. And I sure won’t let Richard Childress do it either. Look at that. I just took a ‘jab’ at Kyle Busch. But who hasn’t?
“Anyway, despite my slow start to the season, I would be a coward if I didn’t choose to fight back. Another jab at Kyle Busch. Kyle’s usually got an answer for everything, except punches.”
9. Tony Stewart: Stewart led twice for 20 laps at Kansas, and was in contention for the win before a late stop for fuel relegated him to an eighth-place finish. The No. 14 Office Depot/Mobil 1 team had trouble filling the tank during a pit stop on lap 212, which necessitated an additional stop. Stewart improved one spot in the point standings to eighth, and now trails Carl Edwards by 92.
“By golly,” Stewart said, “I’m a NASCAR driver. I expect ‘full’ service when I bring my car to the pits.
“As for the Richard Childress-Kyle Busch incident, I warned years ago that NASCAR was descending into a WWE-like atmosphere. It looks like it’s come full circle. We’ve got back flips, championship belts, and owners involved in fights. Vince McMahon would be proud. What’s next? Overpriced pay-per-view offerings for events few people care about?”
10. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished 18th in the STP 400, one lap down to the leaders after a race filled with handling issues. More notably, Bowyer won Saturday’s Camping World Truck series O’Reilly Auto Parts 250, a win that was soon overshadowed by the confrontation between Richard Childress and Kyle Busch.
“NASCAR came down hard on Richard Childress,” Bowyer said. “He’s on probation until the end of the year, and he was fined $150,000. You can either call him ‘$150,000 Richard’ or ‘$150,000 Poorer.’”
Richard Childress Should Have Been Suspended For Assaulting Kyle Busch
On Saturday, Richard Childress approached Kyle Busch after the Camping World Truck Series race, put him in a head lock and punched him several times. Monday, NASCAR announced that they have fined Childress $150,000, plus putting him on NASCAR probation until the end of the year.
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[/media-credit]Now let’s think about this: if you’d done that to somebody, you could have been charged with assault and faced consequences under the law, which would most likely include jail time. Though for Childress, all he has to do is pay for a fine with money we know he has and stay out of trouble for the rest of the year. Does this sound fair? No, I don’t believe it does and that’s why I still say that despite everything involved, Childress should’ve been suspended for at least one race.
Anybody recall when Tony Stewart punched a reporter? They fined him and sent him to anger management classes.
Anybody recall when Jimmy Spencer punched Kurt Busch? They suspended him for a race.
So how is it that because Richard Childress is an owner that he gets different treatment?
Now, there are those that say that Kyle Busch did indeed have it coming after what has transpired past couple of months. At Darlington, it was Busch who destroyed both Clint Bowyer’s and Kevin Harvick’s car, though Harvick had it coming with how he was racing Busch, some would say. This past weekend at Kansas, Busch got into Joey Coulter after the completion of the Camping World Truck Series race.
As a result, Childress figured he should take matters into his own hands. Now, anybody in life who does this knows they’ll face consequences and not light ones, yet it seems that’s how NASCAR has played the card for Childress. Instead of punching him, would it not been better to talk things out peacefully so they can get this behind them and move forward?
As far as what Busch did, he got fined the right measures back at Darlington for what he did on pit road to Harvick and is serving the probation as he should. Whether the contact after the race should’ve gathered more punishment towards Busch, that would be wrong to do. NASCAR said penalties for contact back at Darlington was because of what transpired on pit road after the race, not for what happened on track. Wouldn’t they be going back on their word if they fined Busch?
Busch has crossed the line, no doubt, many times, but in this case he is the victim of someone who can’t control their anger about their drivers being involved incidents.
HOORAHS AND WAZZUPS: THE NASCAR WEEKEND WAS RATHER ‘FUELISH’
Over the previous weekend we watched a driver win a NASCAR Sprint Cup race by using his left foot instead of his right foot. We watched NASCAR’s most popular driver not win a race because of fuel issues. We watched a NASCAR Nationwide Series driver coast under the checkers, at 50 MPH, because he was out of fuel. Oh by the way, all of this was completely overshadowed by a fist fight that very few people actually saw. With those thoughts in mind, let’s begin with:
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[/media-credit]HOORAH to driver Brad Keselowski, crew chief Paul Wolfe and Roger Penske Racing for winning Sunday’s STP 400 at the Kansas Speedway. In a racing season filled with frustrations, this organization finally caught a break.
HOORAH to Keselowski for using his left foot, to push in the clutch and coast into the turns, while removing his right foot from the gas pedal. That action was guaranteed factor in having just enough fuel to make it to victory lane.
HOORAH to Penske driver Kurt Busch for actually being happy after the race despite a dominant performance that turned into a ninth place finish due to fuel issues. It’s no secret that Busch has been unhappy with the performance levels of his Penske Racing Dodge. We’ve heard about it during garage interviews and we’ve really heard it via in car radio transmissions.
Busch led 152 of 267 laps and clearly was the car to beat. But fuel issues forced a pit stop with ten laps to go. That was compounded by an additional loss of track position after the car momentarily stalled on pit road when the gas didn’t make it to the fuel pick up in the tank. None the less, this team show strength at a time when it was really needed and that translates into momentum heading to next weekend.
On the topic of Penske performance, HOORAH to Keselowski for a great line, during a post race interview, when he said “we had a come to Jesus meeting.” He was of course referring to Roger Penske who basically told his two race teams that it was time to stop whining, get to work and fix things.
WAZZUP with the politically correct faction of America who are going to totally freak out at the reference comparing Roger Penske to Jesus.
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HOORAH to Dale Earnhardt Jr for using fuel mileage as an advantage to finish second at Kansas. Earnhardt turn four spin out changed his pit sequence status and allowed him to finish the race on one stop when most everyone was going to need two stops.
With less than ten laps remaining, Earnhardt was charging towards the leader, and looking like a race winner, when all of a sudden he received the command, from crew chief Steve Letarte, to back off his speed and save fuel. HOORAH to Letarte for making that call. It resulted in a second place finish which elevated the team to third in points and only one point away from second.
WAZZUP with the cardio systems of Earnhardt’s fan club, aka The Junior Nation, getting stressed to the limit over their coming so close to a win only to come up short over fuel issues? This is the second Sunday in a row their hopes have been dashed
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HOORAH to Justin Allgaier for a highly unusual win in Saturday’s STP 300 NASCAR Nationwide Series race at the Chicagoland Speedway. Carl Edwards was set to win this race but, with the checkers one half lap away, his car wiggled and ran out of fuel. Allgaier passed him and raced for approximately 100 feet before his out of fuel engine began to sputter. The two cars coasted under the chekers, at approximately 50 MPH, for the one-two finish.
HOORAH to the return of Trevor Bayne to NASCAR racing after being sidelined for six weeks due to an illness that still hasn’t been officially diagnosed. Bayne proved that he was more than ready to climb bck into his race car with a third place finish. He had the fuel to make it to the end of the race and was charging hard to close the gap to steal the win. Due to the extreme heat, Bayne’s crew installed some extra air hoses inside of his car which motivated the driver to quip “I feel like an astronaut.”
HOORAH to Danica Patrick for her ten place finish. After a nine week absence, to cover her Indy Racing League commitments, Danica drove a smooth race and fortified rumors that she may indeed be coming to NASCAR full time next year.
HOORAH to Clint Bowyer for winning Saturday’s O’Reilly Auto Parts 250 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series race at the Kansas Speedway. Driving a Chevrolet Truck for Kevin Harvick Inc, the Kansas native returned home and led 124 of the 167 laps in a very dominant performance.
WAZZUP with the brutal midwest heat last weekend? There were fans lying on the concrete floor underneath the Kansas Speedway grandstands trying to get some relief. The interior temperature of the race cars hit well over 140 degrees and many of those drivers looked beat.
Meanwhile here in southern California, we drew daytime highs of 63 degrees and, once the sun went down, we all went looking for our heavy jackets. Is the midwest where global warming is located? WAZZUP with new theories from the global warmers that won’t make anymore sense than the previous theories?
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Okay let’s get to it: the one item we’re all going to be talking about this week.
The opinions of the fight between NASCAR team owner Richard Childress and driver Kurt Busch, last Saturday at the Kansas Speedway, seemed to be split down the middle between HOORAHS and WAZZUPS. The differential here seems to be determined on how one feels about Kyle Busch. It also seems that everyone respects Richard Childress despite his surprising behavior last weekend.
This all started during the NASCAR Truck race when Busch reportedly didn’t care for the way Childress driver Joey Coulter passed him to take fifth place away on the final lap. During the cool down lap Busch responded with a door slap on Coulter’s passenger door. This action angered Childress but it wasn’t the only reason. The team owner was still mad at Busch for damages that occurred when he pushed Kevin Harvick’s car nose first into the pit wall at Darlington after the race was over. Following that incident Childress allegedly informed Busch to take his problems up directly with his drivers like a man and quit tearing up his race cars after the race is over. It now appears that Busch decided to ignore that warning
First off, WAZZUP with calling that a fight? Childress placed Busch in a bear like headlock and did a smackdown on him. It was over as quick as it started.
HOORAH to Childress for having the wisdom to remove what I’m sure is a very expensive wrist watch before the beat down started.
Apparently NASCAR officials decided to declare the Kansas matter a WAZZUP. On Monday they fined Childress $150,000 and placed him on probation until the end of the year.
WAZZUP with the monetary fine being so high? Apparently the “have at it boys” policy doesn’t apply to team owners. When Jeff Gordon and Jeff Burton slugged it out on the backstretch of the Texas Motor Speedway, during a yellow flag, there were no fines, no probation’s and it was also filed under “have at it boys”. In fact most of us are still laughing at that lame display of fighting.
HOORAH to Richard Childress for manning up, accepting the fine and probation while taking full responsibility for his actions.
I’m sure NASCAR officials are quietly whispering HOORAH for the fact that no TV cameras, or still photographers, were at the scene to record this moment for posterity. It seems this action happened so fast the camera people couldn’t mobilize in time to get there.
WAZZUP with no TV cameras at the scene? Not a single one of you can tell me you wouldn’t want to see that fight.
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Kyle Busch and Joe Gibbs Racing only issued blanket statements that basically said they were going to let NASCAR handle the matter. HOORAH to “Twitter” the land where you can always find a comment on anything. Here are some examples from a few of NASCAR’s favorite personalities:
Kyle Petty wrote “I think RC needs to auction the watch he took off before he gave KB the beat down.” Petty followed that up with another “tweet” that read: My Grandfather, (Hall Of Fame member Lee Petty), once told me you can’t out guess a crazy man.”
Fan favorite Kenny Wallace wrote: “I guess boys have at it is over, now that’s an expensive punch.” Later Wallace admitted to a fight fantasy when he wrote: “I would love to fight another driver, but after the $150 thousand fine on RCR I can’t afford to.”
Upon hearing about the incident Fox Sports analyst Darrell Waltrip wrote: “(the) buzz is that RC whipped up on Kyle Busch. The leader of the junk yard dogs will adjust your attitude for you.” In a second message DW wrote: “ever wonder where that Childress bunch gets their attitude? Look no further than the man whose name is on the team. Don’t ask me how I know.”
One of the better “tweets” came from Austin Dillion, who drives in the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series for his Grandpa Richard Childress. Dillion wrote: ” I wonder if Pop Pop will get a senior discount on his fine?”
