Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished fifth at Phoenix, posting his third consecutive top 5 result of the season.
“I feel good about my performance this year,” Blaney said. “I think I’m well on my way to defending my title as Cup champion. And I think Phoenix Raceway has already defended its title as one of the most boring tracks on the schedule.”
2. Christopher Bell: Bell won Stage 2 and dominated late to take the win in the Shriners Children’s 500.
“We had a slow stop when we pitted at the end of Stage 2,” Bell said. “That cost us track position. But my car was so good, that I was easily able to make up those positions. When I finally took the lead, I knew the only thing that could stop me was a caution. Or, one of those ‘phantom cautions’ that NASCAR sometimes decides to call when one car is dominating and they want a closer finish. You know, all it takes sometimes is a chewing gum wrapper.”
3. Kyle Larson: Larson, fresh off a win at Las Vegas, finished 14th in the Shriners Children’s 500.
“The Cup series will be back in Phoenix in November,” Larson said. “That will be the championship round of the playoffs. And barring a slip-up, of the tongue or otherwise, I plan to be there as a championship driver.”
4. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished sixth in the Shriners Children’s 500.
“That’s three straight top 10 finishes for me,” Chastain said. “For the championship, I consider myself a force to be reckoned with. Most drivers consider me a force that can’t be reasoned with.”
5. Kyle Busch: Busch struggled to a 22nd-place finish at Phoenix.
“We just had a terrible weekend,” Kyle Busch said. “Nothing was working, except for crew members making countless adjustments that did nothing to help my car.”
6. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led late at Phoenix, but gave up the lead for an off-cycle pit stop and eventually finished seventh.
“Joey Logano was driving the No. 22 Hunt Brothers Pizza Ford,” Truex said. “That was strange because when you see Hunt Brothers Pizza on a car, you expect to see Kevin Harvick in it. When you see Hunt Brothers Pizza on the menu, you expect to see someone in the bathroom.”
7. Daniel Suarez: Suarez came home 13th in the Shriners Children’s 500.
“After the exciting conclusion at Atlanta back on February 25th,” Suarez said, “race finishes have been pretty boring. Whereas at Atlanta, you needed a camera to determine the distance between first and second, in Phoenix, you needed a few football fields.”
8. William Byron: Byron finished 18th at Phoenix.
“I was a non-factor at Phoenix,” Byron said. “I wish I could say my No. 24 Chevy was a non-tractor, but I can’t because that is actually what it drove like.”
9. Ty Gibbs: Gibbs finished third at Phoenix and is now eighth in the points standings.
“The Joe Gibbs Racing team was really strong today,” Gibbs said. “I’ve got my grandfather, Joe Gibbs, to thank for that. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my grandfather, I wouldn’t be here.”
10. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished 19th at Phoenix.
“It’s been a while since I saw Victory Lane,” Elliott said. “It’s been a while since any of the regulars at the Dawsonville Pool Hall saw sobriety.”
