Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished second in the Auto Club 400, extending his amazing streak with his eighth consecutive top-two finish. He continues to lead the Sprint Cup points standings, and holds a 28-point cushion over Joey Logano.
“Who’s going to stop me in my quest to defend my Cup championship?” Harvick said. “It appears no one is willing to step up. In the last eight races, I’ve won four times and finished second four times. I win and I ‘place;’ is anyone else going to ‘show?’”
2. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh at California as Penske Racing teammate Brad Keselowski took the win.
“Brad stole that win from Kurt Busch,” Logano said. “Luckily for Brad, Kyle Larson’s bumper flew off, bringing out the caution that Brad needed. A bumper is real debris, debris you can actually see. Can something invisible, like a stiff wind, necessitate a yellow flag? NASCAR would likely say ‘Yes.’ I guess that would be called a ‘da breeze’ caution.”
3. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth at Fontana, posting his third top 10 of the year. He is fourth in the points standings, 66 out of first.
“It was a solid day for Hendrick Motorsports,” Johnson said, “but the return of Kurt Busch has made Stewart-Haas Racing a real powerhouse. Busch has really been on fire since his reinstatement. It appears the line between being outlawed and being the ‘Outlaw’ is a significant one. But is Busch really a threat to win the Sprint Cup championship. Until he’s holding the Cup, I’m not convinced. So, he’s innocent until proven guilty.”
4. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt posted his fourth top-10 finish of the year with a sixth at Fontana, rebounding strongly from his last place result in Phoenix.
“I lost a lot of track position,” Earnhardt said, “when I got stuck behind Greg Biffle on a late restart. There’s nothing worse that getting stuck behind a slow car on a restart, except for getting stuck behind the wheel of a Roush Fenway Racing car.”
5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex’s hot start to the season continued with an eighth in the Auto Club 500. He has five consecutive top 10’s and is fifth in the points standings, 33 out of first.
“Kurt Busch won the pole for Sunday’s race, Truex said. “I asked Kurt’s ex-girlfriend, Patricia Driscoll, about the race, and, not surprisingly, she said, ‘He started it.’
“It was a wild finish at Fontana. And to capitalize on that result, Furniture Row is offering their own ‘wild finish,’ a tiger-striped design on a coffee table.”
6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski passed Busch on the final lap to seize the win in a dramatic Auto Club 500. Keselowski took four tires during the final caution, giving him the necessary advantage on the Fontana track’s abrasive surface.
“I apologize if I made Kurt hit the wall,” Keselowski said. “He should consider himself lucky, that it’s only one wall and not four that he’s dealing with.”
7. Ryan Newman: Newman finished fifth in the Auto Club 400, posting his third consecutive top-five result. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 63 behind Kevin Harvick.
“There were a lot of mysterious cautions thrown on Sunday in California,” Newman said. “That surely didn’t make Kurt Busch happy. Kurt may complain about ‘yellow flags being raised,’ as opposed to his girlfriends, who are concerned about all the red flags raised.”
8. Kurt Busch: Busch started on the pole at California and had a win in hand until a late caution presented Brad Keselowski the opportunity to take four tires. Keselowski then passed Busch on the final green-white-checkered finish while Busch brushed the wall trying to regain position.
“You may say I hit the wall,” Busch said, “but I deny it.
“As conspiracy theories go, my favorite is the one that says NASCAR threw the cautions to prevent me from winning. Sure, they granted me a waiver for the Chase, but all those yellows served as ‘wavers’ to keep me out of the Chase.”
9. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished 10th at California as Hendrick Motorsports placed three cars in the top 10.
“I counted at least three ‘phantom’ cautions in Sunday’s race,” Gordon said. “And you know that means: if there are ‘phantoms,’ then there are ‘ghosts.’ And that’s bad news for NASCAR, because this sport just got even whiter.”
10. Paul Menard: Menard recorded his best finish of the year with a fourth in the Auto Club 400. He is ninth in the points standings, 73 out of first.
“Richard Childress could be kicking himself for letting Kevin Harvick leave after the 2013 season,” Menard said. “But at some point, even if something or someone has been getting under your skin, you just have to ‘let it go.’ I think Richard exemplifies that very well.”
