Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Christopher Bell: Bell finished sixth at Dover and continues to lead the Cup series point standings.
“Congratulations to the Truex brothers for winning the Dover double,” Bell said. “I think the only other brother combo to do it better was the Busch brothers, and Kyle could even do it without Kurt’s help.”
2. Ross Chastain: Chastain took Stage 2 at Dover, but his four fresh tires weren’t enough to catch Martin Truex Jr. over the final two laps, and Chastain settled for the runner-up spot.
“If I would have had just a little more speed,” Chastain said, “I think I could have caught Truex and won the race. And since my No. 1 car sported the Jockey paint scheme, as the fastest car in the race, I could have legitimately called it the ‘Crotch Rocket.”
3. William Byron: Byron won Stage 1 at Dover and led a race-high 193 laps, but didn’t have quite enough car at the end and settled for fourth.
“It’s unusual that a Hendrick car didn’t have enough,” Byron said. “According to NASCAR inspectors, Hendrick cars often have too much.”
4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex overcame a pit issue midway through Monday’s race and recovered, with the aid of a quick two-tire pit stop late, to win the Wurth 400 at Dover. The win snapped a 54-race winless streak for Truex.
“My brother Ryan won the Xfinity Series race on Saturday,” Truex said. “So the Truex family pulled off not one, but two, victories at Dover. We call that ‘Truex-tra.'”
5. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin took fifth at Dover, posting his fourth top 10 of the year.
“Please listen to my podcast ‘Actions Detrimental,'” Hamlin said. “So, while you put a bud in your ear, I’ll probably put a foot in my mouth.”
6. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished third at Dover, posting his third consecutive top-10 finish.
“I’m in the midst of a 57-race winless streak,” Blaney said. “I’m confident it will end soon. That is until I talk to my dad Dave Blaney about it. He’s still looking to end his streak.”
7. Kyle Busch: Busch started on the pole at Dover, but ran into trouble early, penalized for speeding in the pits on Lap 22. Soon after, Busch sustained damage in an accident in the back of the field and eventually finished 21st.
“When I was in my 20’s,” Busch said, “issues like those would have driven me crazy. But I’ve mellowed with age. That’s a statement you probably thought you’d never hear a 37-year-old man who tried to get a handgun through a Mexican airport say.”
8. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished eighth at Dover.
“Everybody wants that Dover trophy,” Keselowski said. “I applaud the sculptor who created the ‘Miles The Monster’ trophy. I especially applaud him or her for their ability to get Bruton Smith to sit still long enough to pose as model for that trophy.”
9. Kyle Larson: Larson’s No. 5 Hendrick was damaged early in an accident triggered when Ross Chastain bumped Brennan Poole into a spin, which collected Larson. Larson suffered extensive damage and finished 32nd, 41 laps down.
“Chastain drives car No. 1,” Larson said. “He’s also No. 1 on a growing number of drivers’ ‘S’ list.
10. Tyler Reddick: Reddick finished seventh in the Wurth 400 at Dover.
“In light of the injuries suffered by Chase Elliott and Alex Bowman, “Hendrick Motorsports has told their drivers to ‘take it easy.’ ‘Take it easy’ could also be interpreted as ‘stop doing stupid stuff.’ ‘And ‘stop doing stupid stuff’ could also be applied to Ross Chastain.”