Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Christopher Bell: Bell held off William Byron in the final laps at Austin to win the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix at COTA. It was Bell’s second consecutive win this season as he tops the Power Rankings this week.
“That ‘echo’ you hear,” Bell said, “is me saying ‘win-win.'”
2. William Byron: Byron, last year’s winner at COTA, finished second this time around in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix.
“It was a tough day for two of our Hendrick brethren,” Byron said. “Chase Elliott was wrecked by Ross Chastain on the first lap, and Kyle Larson lost a wheel midway through the race. Losing a wheel is a huge mistake; Ross Chastain is also a huge mistake.”
3. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 19th at COTA.
“Last week in Atlanta,” Blaney said, “I gave Carson Hocevar a piece of my mind. And I think he got the message, which was ‘Stay far away from me,’ because he qualified fourth, way ahead of me in 25th.”
4. Kyle Busch: Busch held the lead late at COTA, but couldn’t fight off Christopher Bell down the stretch and settled for a fifth-place finish.
“The No. 8 Rebel Bourbon Chevrolet was perfect,” Busch said. “Rebel Bourbon is a perfect sponsor for me, because I’m not much of a rule-follower, and I get better with age. Also, I’ve been told by law enforcement that I drive like a drunk in public.”
5. Tyler Reddick: Reddick started on the pole at the Circuit Of The Americas and rolled to a third-place finish.
“Did I see Star Wars Storm Troopers on Michael Waltrip’s ‘Grid Walk?” Reddick said. “I’d honestly rather not have the force be with me if it means I’m ‘forced’ to watch the ‘Grid Walk.'”
6. Shane Van Gisbergen: New Zealand’s Van Gisbergen led 23 laps and finished sixth at COTA.
“I’ve really put New Zealand on the map for NASCAR fans,” Van Gisbergen said. “That’s because most of them didn’t know it existed until I came along.”
7. Chase Elliott: Elliott started third at COTA but found trouble on the first lap. He recovered and stormed back to finish fourth in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix.
“Ross Chastain made a poor decision and wrecked me in the first turn,” Elliott said. “I’ll want to have a talk with Ross in the near future. He should check his mailbox for an invitation; more importantly, Ross should check his rear-view mirror for retaliation.”
8. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished ninth at COTA.
“COTA’s road course was shortened from a 3.41-mile layout to a shorter 2.3-mile circuit,” Bowman said. “And speaking of ‘shortened,’ if Fox could do that to pre-race coverage, I think everyone would be happy. Heck, I think if Fox eliminated pre-race coverage, everyone would be much happier.”
9. Michael McDowell: McDowell finished 11th at COTA and is eighth in the points standings.
“What a race in Austin,” McDowell said. “If we learned anything at COTA, it’s that Shane Van Gisbergen is a left-foot braker.”
10. Bubba Wallace: Wallace started second and won Stage 1 on his way to a 20th-place finish in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix.
“How about that convocation from Riley Gaines,” Wallace said. “I haven’t heard language that divisive since the previous NASCAR race.”
