Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Joey Logano: Logano took charge after a late restart and cruised to the win in the Hollywood Casino 400 at Kansas.
“I’ve already qualified for the next Chase round,” Logano said. “Some other driver lost tire pressure. Me? I just lost ‘pressure.’”
2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski suffered a blown front tire on lap 165 that sent him into the wall, a fate suffered by several Cup contenders. He finished 36th.
“A lot of Chase drivers, including myself, are dreaming of that championship,” Keselowski said. “Who doesn’t dream of the trophy and the accompanying ring? Unfortunately, at Kansas, talk of fingers quickly turned to talk of ‘tows.’”
3. Kyle Busch: Busch won his sixth Nationwide Series race of the year on Saturday and scored a third in the Hollywood Casino 400 on Sunday. He is third in the points standings, six out of first.
“I’m thrilled with third,” Busch said. “Kansas is traditionally a track at which I’ve struggled. Usually, I’m the one that ‘hits a wall’ at Kansas, not the true legitimate Cup contenders.”
4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished 14th on an otherwise disastrous day for Hendrick Motorsports, as Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Jimmie Johnson finished 39th and 40th, respectively.
“Sunday’s race was the Hollywood Casino 400,” Gordon said. “If you put Clint Bowyer in a casino at the roulette wheel, it’s a sure thing he’ll spin.”
5. Carl Edwards: Edwards, the lone Roush Fenway Racing driver still in the Chase, finished fifth in the Hollywood Casino 400.
“I’m third in the points standings,” Edwards said. “That’s my best position of the year. My best position of the next year will be in the No. 19 Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota.”
6. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson was spun by Greg Biffle on lap 85, sending him hard into the inside retaining wall. Johnson finished 40th.
“The points were reset after the Dover race,” Johnson said. “And Chad Knaus would agree with that fact 100%, because I can’t tell you how many times he’s sworn everybody is on a level playing ground.”
7. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: While leading midway through the race, Earnhardt blew a right-front tire and slammed the wall. The damage sent him to the garage and he eventually finished 39th.
“Let’s just hope the people of ‘E-Nation’ don’t become the people of ‘Elimi-Nation,’” Earnhardt said.
8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick won his seventh pole of the year and led 61 laps on his way to a 12th-place finish at Kansas.
“My seven poles have resulted in only one win,” Harvick said. “Obviously, I’m not that adept at closing the deal. If you ask Richard Childress, he’ll say I’m good at closing out a deal.”
9. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished 13th at Kansas as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch finished third. Kenseth is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 17 out of first.
“We’re headed to Talladega in two weeks,” Kenseth said. “And four drivers will be eliminated afterwards. I didn’t think it was possible, but the ‘Big One’ got even bigger.
“I hear Michael Waltrip is still alive on ‘Dancing With The Stars.’ And he’s finally able to admit he has a partner.”
10. Kyle Larson: Larson finished second at Kansas, and now has two seconds, a third, and a sixth in the last four races.
“Yet I’m barely old enough to drink a ‘fifth,’” Larson said.
