Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished ninth at Charlotte, recording his 11th top-10 finish of the year. He leads the points standings, ahead of Martin Truex Jr. by 41.
“The Coke 600 marked the return of Kyle Busch,” Harvick said, “and he finished a solid 11th. He was in the No. 18 Skittles car. As you may know, the Skittles motto is ‘Taste the Rainbow.’ A typical rainbow is usually comprised of seven colors, which is six more than a typical crowd at a NASCAR race.”
2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson lost control on lap 273 at Charlotte and slammed the inside wall, ruining his night in the Coca-Cola 600. He eventually finished 40th, 30 laps behind.
“Thank goodness that SAFER barrier was there,” Johnson said. “The crash may have looked violent, but it was not. In fact, it was a ‘Lowe’s impact’ collision.
“One year ago, that SAFER barrier wasn’t even in place. Back then, with the letters rearranged, it was called the FEARS barrier.”
3. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished third in the Coca-Cola 600, posting his seventh top-five of the season. He is fourth in the Sprint Cup points standings.
“You know who else finished third?” Earnhardt said. “Lewis Hamilton at the Formula 1 Grand Prix Of Monaco. Somebody asked Lewis after the race what it felt like to give away the win like that. He said, ‘It’s the pits.’”
4. Joey Logano: Logano led 17 laps and finished 13th at Charlotte while Penske Racing teammate Brad Keselowski took seventh. Logano is third in the points standings, 66 behind Kevin Harvick.
“What a race by Juan Pablo Montoya at Indianapolis,” Logano said. “He celebrated with the traditional bottle of milk. Now, if you would have told me before the race about a Colombian and a ‘white substance,’ milk certainly wouldn’t have entered my mind.”
5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led a race-high 131 laps in the Coca-Cola 600 and finished fifth, earning his 11th top 10 of the year.
“I hate to be a whiner,” Truex said, “but I lost a fuel mileage race, outdone by drivers who saved gas. And I’m not happy. They’re celebrating in the ‘conservatory,’ which is the same place I play the world’s smallest violin.”
6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished tenth at Charlotte, posting his fifth top 10 of the year.
“I was proud of my brother Kyle,” Busch said. “He had a great finish at Charlotte. He wanted to return sooner, but I talked him out of it. I quoted an Iredell County sheriff when I said, ‘What’s your rush?’”
7. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished seventh in the Coca-Cola 600 and is now sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings.
“I welcomed a baby girl into the world on Saturday,” Keselowski said. “I don’t think she looks a bit like me, but people tell me she’s got my gums. I even had to look over my shoulder for Kevin Harvick when the doctor told my girlfriend Paige White to ‘push.’”
8. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth started on pole at Charlotte and finished fourth after leading 26 laps. He is seventh in the points standings, 101 out of first.
“Carl Edwards was finally able to perform his signature back flip,” Kenseth said. “That’s the first time since joining JGR that he’s landed on his feet.”
9. Carl Edwards: Edwards took the lead on lap 382 at Charlotte and ran away from the field, taking the Coca-Cola 600 win, his first in 31 races and first as a Joe Gibbs Racing driver.
“It was great to take the No. 19 car with Subway sponsorship to victory lane,” Edwards said. “Up until Charlotte, I don’t think I’ve done my sponsors justice. You could say my performance was ‘Sub par.’”
10. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished eighth at Charlotte on a strong day for Joe Gibbs Racing, as all four JGR drivers finished in the top 11, with Carl Edwards taking the win.
“Sunday was a great day for motor racing,” Hamlin said, “and a great day for Toyota at Charlotte. Nico won at Monaco, Juan Pablo won at Indianapolis, and Tokyo won at Charlotte.”
