Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. William Byron: Byron assumed the lead on Lap 51 when Martin Truex Jr. pitted from the lead. Byron led the final 17 laps and cruised to the win in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix, his second win of the season.
“I started on the pole,” Byron said, “and my Chevy was clearly the best on the track all day. Therefore, the outcome of the race was a ‘24-gone conclusion.'”
2. Christopher Bell: Bell won Stage 1 at COTA and tried his best to chase down William Byron for the lead late, but couldn’t catch the Hendrick driver and settled for the runner-up spot.
“Congratulations to William,” Bell said. “His road course acumen really showed and he was clearly the best driver on the track on Sunday. So, at least for a day, he was the ‘GOAT-A’ at COTA.”
3. Ty Gibbs: Gibbs took third in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix at Circuit Of The Americas. Gibbs has top-10 or better finishes in five of six races this season.
“I can’t believe we went a whole race without a caution for cause,” Gibbs said. “What’s even more unbelievable is that NASCAR allowed it to happen. If there was ever the right time to throw a ‘phantom caution,’ the end of that race was the time. What this race lacked in excitement, it made up for in boredom.”
4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 10th in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix, posting his fourth top 10 of the season.
“I had to make a much too early pit stop for a tire situation,” Truex said. “It seemed I had a shattered tire rim. And that pit stop was punctuated by a ‘rim shot’ on the drums.”
5. Ryan Blaney: Blaney overcame a late spin to finish 12th in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix.
“Road course racing may not be my cup of tea,” Blaney said. “But like most NASCAR fans, I don’t drink my tea from a cup, I drink it from a bong.
“I’m still winless this season, but I’m posting solid results on every type of track we race on. And I’m thinking big picture. In other words, the Playoffs, and everybody knows what happened in the Playoffs last year: ‘The Menards were separated from the boys.'”
6. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin led three laps and finished 14th at COTA.
“My car featured the colors and scheme of Interstate Batteries,” Hamlin said.”Interstate Battery” is also known as what Ross Chastain does when he goes state to state to NASCAR tracks and drives into various cars.
7. Ross Chastain: Chastain led 10 laps on his way to a seventh-place finish in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix.
“Road course races are like buffets,” Chastain said. “That’s because they have an international flavor. And that’s what makes them so popular. Ask any NASCAR fan; they can definitely relate to a buffet.”
8. Tyler Reddick: Reddick was strong all day at Austin and finished fifth in the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix.
“I was lucky enough to be a part of Michael Waltrip’s ‘Grid Walk,'” Reddick said. “And, I am unlucky enough to be nearly a foot shorter than Waltrip and ‘Grid Walk’ guest, University Of Texas head coach Steve Sarkisian.”
9. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 18th at COTA.
“I suffered a spin during Stage 2 that really cost me a lot of track position,” Larson said. “By ‘suffered,’ I mean ‘Christopher Bell did it.’ Bell also did the same to Kyle Busch. So that’s two of us he spun. That left us saying, ‘What the Hells, Bell?'”
10. Alex Bowman: Bowman took fourth at COTA as Hendrick Motorsports teammate William Byron snagged the win.
“The story of the day was the battle between Toyota and Chevrolet,” Bowman said. “So, I guess the only notable part of the Fords was the back seat.”
