1. Christopher Bell: Bell took the lead on the final restart and was leading when the caution flew when Josh Berry spun on the backstretch. The win was Bell’s first at Atlanta and 10th career Cup win, earning him the top spot in the power rankings.
“There’s a lot of people who are sick and tired of NASCAR races ending under caution,” Bell said. “What I mean by ‘a lot’ is everybody except me and William Byron.”
2. Ryan Blaney: Blaney was running in a pack up front when he spun with 27 laps remaining at Atlanta. Blaney survived and stormed to the front to finish fourth.
“I got turned by Carson Hocevar,” Blaney said. “Carson said I was trying to block him. I said Carson was a ‘moron.’ Maybe I spoke too hastily and with a tinge of anger, so I’d like to retract my statement and say ‘Carson is a moron.'”
3. Bubba Wallace: Wallace finished ninth at Atlanta.
“Did I see Brett Favre at the race?” Wallace said. “I hear Favre has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, so unlike Favre towards the state of Mississippi, I am concerned about his welfare.”
4. Kyle Larson: Larson won Stage 2 at Atlanta and finished third, again falling short of his first drafting track win.
“That winless streak at drafting tracks really concerns me,” Larson said. “I’ve considered resuming SIM racing to hone my skills at drafting tracks, but I guess some things are better left alone.”
5. Tyler Reddick: Reddick finished 19th at Atlanta and is third in the points standings.
“I counted two NFL legends at Atlanta Motor Speedway,” Reddick said. “Brett Favre and Ed Reed were there. Having spent a lot of time with Michael Jordan, I feel right at home in the presence of superstar athletes. That is, if ‘right at home’ means ‘much smaller and much shorter’ than them.”
6. John Hunter Nemechek: Nemechek finished 10th at Atlanta and his two top-10 results to start the season has him in fifth in the points standings.
“I guess people will now have to take me seriously,” Nemechek said, “as a legitimate threat to not finish in the top 10 at the Circuit Of The Americas.”
7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished sixth in the Ambetter Health 400.
“I’m looking for a subject for my upcoming podcast,” Hamlin said. “I think I’ll check with Ryan Blaney and Ross Chastain, and ask them ‘Whose dangerous driving made their ‘Actions Detrimental?'”
8. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished a disappointing 26th at Atlanta.
“I was knocked out of the race because Chase Briscoe ran out of talent,” Bowman said. “You could say Briscoe played ‘spoiler’ in that race. There’s ‘playing spoiler, and then there’s ‘working spoiler,’ which is what Briscoe’s team did at Daytona.”
9. Joey Logano: Logano finished 12th in the Ambetter Health 400 at Atlanta Motor Speedway.
“The Sunny D sponsorship was conspicuously absent from the race at Atlanta,” Logano said. “That means we went from two orange things circling the track at Daytona to none at Atlanta.”
10. William Byron: Byron and Austin Cindric came together with five laps to go, spinning both and sending the cars into the inside wall. Byron finished 27th.
“Once again,” Byron said, “I’ve got Liberty University sponsorship in my corner this year. And speaking of ‘in the corner’……….do I even need to finish this joke?”
Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
