Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s four-tire pit stop on a caution with 20 laps to go keyed his victory at Homestead, giving him the Sprint Cup championship. Harvick held off Ryan Newman to claim his first title.
“I’d like to thank everyone who believed in me,” Harvick said. “I’d also like to thank Richard Childress. Do you believe me now, Richard?
“Sunday’s race was for all the marbles. And that included the ‘marbles’ of Kurt Busch, because it seems he’s lost his.”
2. Ryan Newman: Newman started 21st on the grid and chased Kevin Harvick to the checkered flag, unable to get close enough to make a move. Newman finished second as Harvick celebrated his first championship.
“I was looking to become the first Sprint Cup champion without a win,” Newman said. “That would have been a dream come true for me, and a nightmare for NASCAR.”
3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin, on old tires, lost the lead to Kevin Harvick with seven laps to go and finished seventh.
“Michael Jordan was in my pit box cheering me on,” Hamlin said. “Seventh may be good enough for Charlotte Hornets, but not for me. No one was more upset when I lost than Michael. No one was happier than his bookie.”
4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon started on the pole at Homestead and led a race-high 161 laps on his way to a 10th-place finish at Homestead.
“Surprisingly,” Gordon said, “there were no punches thrown. Apparently, Homestead isn’t ‘grounds’ for fighting.”
5. Joey Logano: Logano’s chances at the Sprint Cup championship disintegrated when jack problems in the pits dropped him to 21st on the restart. He eventually finished 16th in the Ford EcoBoost 400.
“Just when we needed a ‘pick-me-up,’” Logano said, “we suffered a ‘letdown’ in the pits.”
6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth won the Nationwide Ford EcoBoost 300 on Saturday and finished sixth in the Ford EcoBoost 400 on Sunday.
“Congratulations to Kevin Harvick,” Kenseth said. “He wouldn’t be holding that championship trophy had he not won the last two races. I’d say he certainly knows when to ‘push.’”
7. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished third at Homestead, closing the books on an up-and-down year.
“It was an up-and-down year for us,” Keselowski said, “as well as a ‘left-and-right’ year.”
8. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished 14th in the Ford EcoBoost 400, finishing the year with four wins.
“It was a historic day at Homestead,” Earnhardt said. “The competition was intense, while Junior Nation was ‘in tents.’ Leave it to my fans to bring the moonshine to the ‘Sunshine State.’
9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth at Homestead, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports drivers.
“I wasn’t able to win my seventh title,” Johnson said, “but I can’t be too upset. “The race was called the ‘Ford EcoBoost 400. Let’s change that ‘Eco’ to ‘Echo,’ because whenever and wherever you say my name, you hear it repeated five times.”
10. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 13th in the Ford EcoBoost 400, wrapping up what will surely be a Rookie Of The Year campaign.
“If I don’t win that Rookie Of The Year award,” Larson said., “I’ll be very unhappy. So unhappy, that I could possibly go into ‘ROY’d rage.’”