Racing is all about babes in firesuits, anger management, wrestlers, and even racing

[media-credit id=22 align=”alignright” width=”249″][/media-credit]Well, the football season is over and the baseball season is still a few weeks away. What to do, what to do? Even the Aussie footy season does not start full bore until March. There is something about watching lads playing full contact football in basketball gear. No wonder most are retired by the age of 30.

Not so in NASCAR, where the average age of the drivers is about 35. Even though the Daytona 500 is still a few weeks away, I’m starting to smell the fuel and hear the roar of the engines somewhere in the recesses of my mind. Okay, Danica Patrick will be back in her firesuit soon, and maybe that is on my mind, too. I see where she compares her fight for respect on par with that of Tim Tebow. I, for one, never understood the criticism of the football player who won a pair of NCAA titles with Florida, won the Heisman, and who came of age this past season in Denver. Danica looks great and drives okay, but looks don’t win races. If she looked less like a Kim Kardashian and more like a Ken Schrader, we wouldn’t be talking much about her.

We talk a lot about the Busch boys, and sometimes we do so for the right reasons. One has won a Cup title while the other has claimed 104 of the 580 races he has run in NASCAR’s top three touring series. Yet, the duo still come across as spoiled entitled jerks who probably needed a few more swats to the bottom during their childhood. Kurt managed to drive off his crew chief and eventually himself from Penske, while Kyle decided to determine the truck title in a smash-up tantrum. Both promise to be good boys, changed men as it were, in 2012. I promise to watch to see if they actually mean it this time, but I’m not holding my breath.

The honorary starter for the Daytona 500 will be John Cena, who is actually paid to toss folks around and get under people’s skin. I’m not too sure what pro wrestling has to do with NASCAR, though. Hey, I loved the era that featured the Rock, Stone Cold, Mick Foley, and Mr. McMahon. They made me laugh and while it might be a jacked up version of theatre sports, Foley showed you can’t exactly fake a 16 foot drop through a table. Still, Cena as the honorary starter makes about as much sense as having Susan Boyle calling the drivers to start ‘em up. I guess former winners like Dale Jarrett, Sterling Marlin, Bill Elliott, Cale Yarborough, Bobby Allison, and Buddy Baker must have been tied up. If they want someone from the ring, how about Michael Buffer? “For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching from around the world, let’s get ready to ruuuuuuumble!!!” Yah, that would work.

Here is hoping that NASCAR’s attempt to reduce two-car tandem racing at Daytona will work. My wife hates it, I don’t overly mind it, but it pales in comparison to the racing we once witnessed where a car could jump out of the pack and attempt to sling shot to victory. With the rules set so that tandem racing will equate into an over heating situation more quickly, I’m guessing we’ll see more drafting until the end, but the leaders will again come across the line in pairs. One difference this year is that the race will be won by a car with a fuel injection engine, not that we’ll notice the difference.

Jayski’s counter tells us we have just over two weeks to go before the engines come to life for the Daytona 500. Less than that for the Nationwide race, the Craftsman trucks, the Gatorade Duels, the Bud Shootout, and in just over a week we have the season opener for the ARCA series at Daytona. No, Danica won’t be there, but Leilani Munter and Milka Duno could look mighty fine in their firesuits. I guess if we’ve learned anything here is that sometimes racing can be about more than just racing. Enjoy the week.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of SpeedwayMedia.com

Ron Thornton
Ron Thornton
A former radio and television broadcaster, newspaper columnist, Little League baseball coach, Ron Thornton has been following NASCAR on this site since 2004. While his focus may have changed over recent years, he continues to make periodic appearances only when he has something to say. That makes him a rather unique journalist.

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