It has a week of discovery. We know that Kevin Harvick is off to a great start. We know that Tony Stewart is not. We now know that NASCAR funds an organization run by Al Sharpton. We know that Kurt Busch’s ex is not happy that Kurt is back racing, and I discovered I just do not care. I also know that even if I were not a happily married straight male, I would have no interest in dating either of them. Now, let us move on.
Hot 20 after Phoenix…
1. Kevin Harvick – 2 Wins (182 Points)
AKA The Champ, Double Winner, Happy, The Closer, Harv, Squirrel Killer.
2. Joey Logano – 1 Win (160 Points)
At Phoenix he proved he could go to Xfinity but not beyond.
3. Jimmie Johnson – 1 Win (124 Points)
In the end, he was more tired than his car as both hit the wall.
4. Martin Truex Jr. – 155 Points
Takes crap from nobody…except Junior.
5. Kasey Kahne – 132 Points
If this is an organization’s least heralded driver, they all wish they could be so cursed.
6. A.J. Allmendinger – 127 Points
Already the winner of an Auto Golf Club event at Fontana.
7. Dale Earnhardt Jr. – 126 Points
Super sorry about your motorcoach, Martin…I sh*t you not…but as for the dog…
8. Ryan Newman – 123 Points
Top Ten, Top Three, Top Three, why Newman is happy is plain to see.
9. Brad Keselowski – 116 Points
The most popular celebrity from Rochester Hills, Michigan…as of last week.
10. Matt Kenseth – 113 Points
If only he could get a Daytona do over.
11. Paul Menard – 112 Points
Still seeking a Top 10, but Fontana is where dreams have come true for him.
12. Casey Mears – 111 Points
Best driver in his organization is the only driver in his organization. He is racing to change that.
13. Denny Hamlin – 108 Points
Wants things to be more automatic…such as the transmission.
14. Aric Almirola – 105 Points
More lukewarm than hot, but he sure was hot after 2014 finish at Fontana.
15. Clint Bowyer – 101 Points
Now, a few words from our favorite driver. “@&$#*#$@!!!”
16. Greg Biffle – 101 Points
You picked a fine time to find me, loose wheel.
17. David Ragan – 98 Points
Knows Kyle will eventually return, but more worried he might lose ride to Will Ferrell.
18. Kyle Larson – 98 Points
Dug a hole at Daytona and Atlanta. Found a ladder out west.
19. Jamie McMurray – 97 Points
Ditto for Larson’s team mate.
20. David Gilliland – 92 Points
With thanks going to Austin, Carl, Danica, Sam, Jeff, Trevor, Ricky, Kyle, Kurt and Tony.