Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished second to Stewart-Haas teammate Kurt Busch at Richmond, as Harvick scored the runner-up spot for the fifth time this season.
“Kurt deserved the win,” Harvick said. “He was by far the best car in the field, and everyone knew it. Kurt proved that his girlfriend isn’t the only thing he can ‘throttle.’
“I was honored at the White House on Tuesday. Basically, President Obama and I discussed aerodynamics. We both think spoilers are important; I just prefer the ‘right wing’ to the ‘left wing.’”
2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson started 36th and worked his way inside the top 10 quickly on his way to a third in the Toyota Owners 400. It was Johnson’s fifth top-5 result of the year, and he is fourth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 58 behind Kevin Harvick.
“I hear Harvick visited the White House,” Johnson said. “I’ve been there and done that, several times. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be surrounded by security. Usually, it’s when Chad Knaus is running ‘secret service’ on the No. 48 in the garage.”
3. Joey Logano: Logano dominated early at Richmond, starting from the pole and leading the first 94 laps on his way to a fifth-place finish.
“They call me ‘Sliced Bread,’” Logano said. “Just a few short weeks ago, they called Kurt Busch ‘Toast.’”
4. Kurt Busch: Busch was the class of the field for much of Sunday’s race at Richmond, leading 291 laps on his way to the win, his first in 35 races. The victory likely qualifies Busch for the Chase for the Cup field.
“The No. 41 Stewart-Haas Chevy handled great,” Busch said. “Finally, we can talk about my car’s suspension, and not mine.”
5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished a disappointing 17th at Richmond after dropping a cylinder on lap 254.
“When you mention ‘No. 2’ and ‘dropped a cylinder’ in the same sentence,” Keselowski said, “you can assume your day has ‘gone to pot.’
“Kurt Busch just made the Chase field. Now, let’s see if Kyle Busch can. Brian France said he may grant Kyle a waiver when he returns to racing, meaning Kyle could make the Chase with a win despite not being in the top 30 in points. Let’s not automatically assume Kyle will win and make the field. If we assume, Kyle could make an ass out of you and me.”
6. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex posted his eighth top-10 finish of the year with a 10th in the Toyota Owners 400 at Richmond.
“Chevrolets took the top four spots at Richmond,” Truex said, “while the best Toyota finish was Matt Kenseth in seventh. I think we know who the Toyota ‘owners’ really are —–it’s the Chevy’s.
“Did you see that pit road fire in the Xfinity Series? Luckily, NASCAR safety officials put that fire out using their ‘Xtinguish Series.’”
7. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished 14th at Richmond, the only Hendrick Motorsports driver outside the top 10. He is eighth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 86 out of first.
“I had a dust up with Tony Stewart with 40 laps to go,” Earnhardt said. “I blame Tony and Tony blames me. Tony couldn’t get his car restarted after the wreck, and he was not happy. Apparently, the old adage ‘Where there’s Smoke, there’s ‘fire’’ is not true.”
8. Matt Kenseth: One week after winning at Bristol, Kenseth finished seventh in the Toyota Owners 400, his fifth top 10 of the year.
“Kurt Busch drove an impressive race,” Kenseth said. “Even with Kevin Harvick stalking him, he didn’t fold. I guess Kurt is right—-he didn’t choke.”
9. Kasey Kahne: Kahne joined Hendrick Motorsports teammates Jimmie Johnson (third) and Jeff Gordon (eight) in the top 10 with a sixth at Richmond.
“It was overall a solid day for HMS,” Kahne said. “If not for Tony Stewart, Dale Earnhardt Jr. would have joined us in the top 10. But I think Junior’s willing to let it slide. The last thing Tony needs is a guilt trip.”
10. Jamie McMurray: McMurray led four laps and finished fourth at Richmond, scoring his second top five of the year. He is ninth in the points standings, 93 out of first.
“Kurt Busch was just too fast for anyone to catch,” McMurray said. “Much like his former girlfriend, you could say Kurt was ‘on a mission.’”