Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished second in a wild and crash-filled Geico 500 at Talladega as Brad Keselowski captured the win. Busch is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, nine behind Kevin Harvick.
“I finished second,” Busch said, “and Carl Edwards finished 35th. Just like last week, I see Edwards behind me.
“Everybody knows I owe Carl Edwards. Carl knows, too. I told Carl I’d give him fair warning, though. That’ll come in the form of Jamie McMurray. When Carl sees McMurray, he’ll know he’s got ‘1’ coming.”
2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s strong day at Talladega ended on a sour note when he was sucked into a last-lap pileup. He finished 15th.
“Danger is always a factor at Talladega,” Harvick said. “Nothing speaks to that better than the fact that Busch beer was on the No. 4 Chevrolet for the race. Whether you’re headed to the mountains of Busch or the air of Talladega, you’re likely to get wasted.
“Tony Stewart started the race. Ty Dillon took over after the first caution. That was at the orders of Tony’s doctors. So, it was good news for Tony’s back, and his stomach.
3. Carl Edwards: Edwards suffered damage in a lap 96 incident, then blew a tire on lap 111 and slammed Jimmie Johnson. The wreck ended Edwards day, and he finished 35th in the Geico 500 at Talladega.
“I still haven’t spoken to Kyle Busch about bumping him out of the lead at Richmond,” Edwards said. “I expect I will at some point. When I do want Kyle’s attention, I’ll just tap him on the shoulder.”
4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led a race-high 46 laps and won the Geico 500.
“There are two types of people that love racing at Talladega,” Keselowski said. “Fans, and the race winner.
“But seriously, Brian France claims to have safety in mind for the drivers, but what’s more likely to be hurt are his feelings, not a driver. If you can’t take criticism from Tony Stewart, you’re not fit to be in this sport, because everyone’s been criticized by Tony.”
5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson’s day ended early after a lap 160 incident with Kurt Busch that sent Johnson into the wall. Johnson finished 22nd, six laps down.
“Busch just ran right through me,” Johnson said. “Kurt’s been known to charge with full ferocity. But it’s one thing to pin your ears back surgically, which Kurt had done in 2006, and pin your ears back figuratively, which he did at Talladega.”
6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt started third at Talladega and struggled from the start, spinning on lap 50 before being taken out by Carl Edwards after the No. 19 car blew a tire. Earnhardt finished 40th.
“My steering wheel came off at one point during the race,” Earnhardt said. “Here’s the interesting thing: that’s the best my car drove all day.”
7. Kurt Busch: Busch ran up front for much of the day at Talladega and delivered an eighth-place finish in the Geico 500.
“To succeed at Talladega,” Busch said, “you have to find the right balance of patience and aggression. The problem with fellow drivers have with me is they lose their patience altogether.”
8. Joey Logano: Logano finished 25th at Daytona, with a strong run negated by a last-lap pileup that victimized the No. 22 and several other cars. Logano is fifth in the points standings, 35 out of first.
“Cars were going airborne right and left,” Logano said. “As a driver, you hate to see that. It sends a chill up your spine and makes your testicles retract way up into your abdomen. That’s a real ‘aero package.’”
9. Chase Elliott: Elliott won the pole at Talladega, thirty years after his father Bill did and came through with a fifth in the Geico 500.
“’Like father, like son,’ as they say,” said Elliott. “I guess it runs in the family. I could say, ‘I have speed coursing through my veins,’ but I’d rather not be mistaken for Jeremy Mayfield.”
10. Austin Dillon: Dillon finished third at Talladega, earning his third top-five of the year.
“There was a lot of duct tape used at Talladega on Sunday,” Dillon said. “That’s not unusual. This is Alabama. Duct tape is a part of life. Heck, it’s part of the state flag.”
