Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Chase Elliott: Elliott passed Ryan Blaney on the final lap to win the YellaWood 500 at Talladega, advancing to the Round Of 8.
“That final lap pass will be immortalized in that famous bar in my hometown of Dawsonville, Georgia,” Elliott said. “It will be a poster on the wall titled ‘The Dawsonville Pool Haul.'”
2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished fifth at Talladega in a fairly uneventful YellaWood 500.
“Not a lot happened in the race,” Hamlin said. “It’s a huge surprise when nothing ‘goes down’ in a NASCAR race, especially tires.”
3. Ryan Blaney: Blaney led with a lap to go at Talladega, but was passed by Chase Elliott, who crossed the line .046 of a second ahead of Blaney.
“That’s a very slim margin,” Blaney said. “But it’s exactly the type of finish you’d expect from Chase and me because we’re ‘very close.'”
4. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished fourth at Talladega.
“My No. 1 car sported the ‘Jockey’ underwear paint scheme,” Chastain said. “It goes without saying that I always appreciate their support.”
5. Joey Logano: Logano struggled to a 27th-place finish at Talladega.
“Luckily,” Logano said, “I’m still fifth in the playoff standings. That means I don’t necessarily have to go to Charlotte’s roval with the intention of winning. In other words, I have ‘cushion for not pushin.””
6. William Byron: Byron finished 12th at Talladega and is 10th in the playoff standings, 11 points below the Round Of 8 cut line.
“I was docked 25 points for spinning Denny Hamlin at Texas,” Byron said. “I guess, much like Denny, I was asking for it.”
7. Christopher Bell: Bell struggled at Talladega and finished 17th, failing to collect a single stage point.
“I think everyone’s in agreement that the ‘Next Gen’ car is garbage,” Bell said. “But what is NASCAR doing about it? Nothing, it appears. I think their attitude is: ‘We’ll let the next generation deal with it.”
8. Daniel Suarez: Suarez finished eighth at Talladega and is seventh in the playoff standings.
“Oddly enough,” Suarez said, “there was no ‘Big One’ at Talladega. There wasn’t even a ‘Big 1,’ which is what happens when Ross Chastain causes a wreck.”
9. Kyle Larson: Larson started second and finished 18th at Talladega.
“I’m sixth in the playoff standings,” Larson said. “If the standings were based on the level of excitement of your car’s paint scheme, I would finish last every week.”
10. (tie) Erik Jones: Jones finished sixth in the YellaWood 500, and was responsible for giving Chase Elliott the push that allowed Elliott to pass Ryan Blaney for the win.
“This may be the closest the No. 43 car will come to making a championship impact,” Jones said, “since Richard Petty’s last championship in 1979.”
10. (tie) Chase Briscoe: Briscoe finished 10th at Talladega, posting his sixth top 10 of the season.
“I’m currently eighth in the playoff standings,” Briscoe said. “I’m getting advice from my car owner Tony Stewart, and he tells me I’ve got to ‘stay hungry.’ Coming from Tony, I know that’s good advice, because I know he’s lived it.”