Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
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[/media-credit]1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson nearly chased down teammate Jeff Gordon at Atlanta, but settled for second after ten laps of dramatic racing to close Tuesday’s rain-delayed race. Johnson has three-straight top-4 finishes, and took sole possession of the Sprint Cup points lead with a 21-point cushion over Kyle Busch.
“The weather nearly dictated the outcome,” Johnson said. “Had the precipitation continued, another ‘J.J.,’ J.J. Yeley, would have been the winner. Yeley was praying for more rain. It never came. With a sixth-consecutive Cup title in my sights, I’m praying for more reign.”
2. Kyle Busch: Busch was strong at Atlanta early, leading 19 laps, but after making contact with the wall near the midway point, handling issues arose and he never challenged the lead again. He eventually finished 23rd, one lap off the pace, and fell out of a tie for the Sprint Cup points lead. Busch is now second, 21 behind Jimmie Johnson.
“I haven’t exactly been dominating in the last two races,” Busch said. “History would suggest I’m just gearing up for a disappointing Chase run. This is one instance in which I wish I was like Juan Montoya. Alas, lately my driving doesn’t strike fear into anyone.”
3. Jeff Gordon: Gordon won for the third time this year, holding off Jimmie Johnson over a tense final ten laps in the AdvoCare 500 in Hampton, Georgia. The win was Gordon’s 85th career triumph, placing him alone in third in the all-time wins list. Gordon moved up one spot to fifth in the point standings, and trails Johnson by 43 points.
“Jimmie and I wore out our tires battling each other,” Gordon said. “We were slipping and sliding all over the track. Nonetheless, it was a ‘gripping’ finish.”
4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished sixth at Atlanta, posting his sixth-straight top-10 and fifth consecutive top-5 result. He is 11th in the Sprint Cup point standings and has clinched a spot in the Chase.
“I’m really excited,” Keselowski said. “I’m in the Chase, and I’ll be going up against some of the drivers I’ve admired, and Carl Edwards.
5. Carl Edwards: Edwards led 14 laps in the AdvoCare 500 on his way to a fifth-place showing, his first top-5 result since a fifth at Kentucky on July 9th. He improve one spot to third in the point standings, and now trails Jimmie Johnson by 38.
“As you know,” Edwards said, “Fastenal has agreed to sponsor my No. 99 Ford for 17 races next year. Couple that with my recent lucrative contract extension, and I’m ‘rolling in dough,’ which may explain why I’ve been so slow lately.”
6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth looked to be the car to beat in the middle section of Tuesday’s AdvoCare 500, but sudden handling problems dampened his run at the front. Still, he finished a solid ninth and is now fourth in the point standings, 39 out of first.
“As has been widely reported,” Kenseth said, “I was one of the seven drivers from the 2010 Chase who accepted an invitation to the White House. I met Dale Earnhardt, the ‘man in black.’ Now, I’ll soon be able to say I’ve met Barrack Obama, the man in ‘White.’
7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished seventh at Atlanta, his 12th top-10 result of the year. Harvick’s day nearly ended in disaster when contact on a lap 135 restart sent him sideways, but he made an incredible save to continue with no damage. He is sixth in the point standings, but with three wins this year, will likely start no worse than third when the Chase For The Cup begins.
“I saved the day,” Harvick said. “It remains to be seen whether I can save the season. I haven’t sniffed a hint of victory since winning at Charlotte in late May. And that stinks. But let’s face it. With me, ‘V’ isn’t for ‘victory;’ it’s for ‘vendetta,’ against Kyle Busch. But I’ll continue on my merry way with little concern. My motto is ‘Don’t worry, be ‘Happy.’”
8. Kurt Busch: Busch finished fourth in the AdvoCare 500, posting his sixth top-5 finish of the year. He clinched a berth in the Chase For The Cup by virtue of points.
“Hey,” Busch said, “that’s the first time ‘virtue’ and ‘Kurt Busch’ have been used together in a sentence. But I’m just happy to be in the Chase. There’s a number of drivers with legitimate chances to win the Cup. I’m happy to do my part to maintain a healthy balance between ‘contenders’ and ‘pretenders.’”
9. Ryan Newman: Newman came home with a lackluster 20th-place finish at Atlanta, but clinched a spot in the Chase For The Cup, joining Kurt Busch and Brad Keselowski as the latest drivers to clinch.
“I’m in,” Newman said, “but Tony Stewart has yet to solidify his berth, and likely won’t know his fate until the end of Saturday’s Richmond race. So, I’ve clinched, while Tony will be clenching….his sphincter.”
10. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin led six laps on his way to an eighth-place finish in the AdvoCare 500, his ninth top-10 result of the year. Hamlin sits 12th in the point standings, and can lock up a Chase berth
“I won at Richmond last September,” Hamlin said. “Hopefully, for once this year, I can live up to last year’s standards.”
