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[/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished fourth at Pocono, posting his 10th top-10 result of the year. He remained fifth in the Spring Cup point standings, 30 out of first.
“Pit road speeding penalties were the story at Pocono,” Johnson said. “I got nabbed twice myself. There are so many speed traps on pit road, I apparently wasn’t the only ‘5-timer’ at Pocono.
“I got ‘busted twice.’ And I’m so good, they’ll be saying that again at my Hall of Fame induction ceremony.”
2. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished seventh in the Pocono 400, and, with the struggles of Roush Fenway teammate Greg Biffle, is the new points leader. Kenseth holds a ten-point lead over Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
“It’s one thing to lead the point standings now,” Kenseth said. “It’s another to lead at season’s end. And, as The Fixx once eloquently stated, let’s hope ‘One Thing Leads To Another.’”
3. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt led 36 laps at Pocono, second only to Joey Logano’s 49, but settled for an eighth-place finish, his third-straight top 10 and seventh in the last eight races. Earnhardt improved one place in the Sprint Cup point standings and trails Matt Kenseth by 10.
“We had the car to win the race,” Earnhardt said, “but, as a 143-race winless streak would seem to suggest, not the driver.
“We had to play it safe and pit for fuel late in the race. I know Junior Nation wanted me to go for the win, but if they could just picture alcohol in the place of fuel, I think they’d understand.”
4. Greg Biffle: Biffle led 19 early laps in the Pocono 400 before mechanical issues dropped him to a finish of 24th, his worst result of the season. After leading the point standings for 11 consecutive weeks, Biffle fell to third, and now trails Matt Kenseth by 10.
“Up until Pocono,” Biffle said, “our engines have been pretty reliable. Usually, when there’s talk of ‘mechanical issues’ around here, it’s a comment on Kenseth’s personality.”
5. Denny Hamlin: Perennial Pocono favorite Hamlin started and finished fifth in the Pocono 400, as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Joey Logano took the victory. Hamlin is fourth in the Sprint Cup point standings, 19 out of first.
“Logano ran a heck of a race,” Hamlin said. “He was awesome. So awesome, in fact, that Joey was the only driver his father confronted after the race.”
6. Kevin Harvick: Karvick finished 14th at Pocono, one of several drivers slowed by a record 22 pit road speeding penalties administered by NASCAR during Sunday’s race. Harvick moved up one place in the point standings to sixth, 53 out of first.
“I was one of several drivers penalized for speeding on pit lane,” Harvick said. “I have to question NASCAR’s methods. Normally, when you say ‘speed trap’ in NASCAR circles, everyone assumes you’re talking about a member of the Mayfield clan getting busted for buying meth from an undercover cop. Not anymore.
“Obviously, the timing mechanisms at Pocono need reviewing. That would make everyone happy. In other words, it’s time to ‘calibrate, good times.’”
7. Tony Stewart: Stewart broke a streak of two consecutive 25th-place finishes with a strong third in the Pocono 400, his fifth top 5 of the year. He remained eighth in the point standings, where he trails leader Matt Kenseth by 75.
“As you know,” Stewart said, “Kyle Busch won my charity Prelude To A Dream race at Eldora Speedway. So, Kyle’s name is ‘dirt’ while his brother Kurt’s name is ‘mud.’”
8. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 30th after a blown engine ended his day on lap 76. He fell three places to 12th in the Sprint Cup point standings, 21 ahead of Paul Menard in 13th.
“Off all people,” Busch said, “I was one who didn’t get a speeding penalty.
“It’s old news that my brother Kurt was sent home for the weekend. Funny thing is, ‘home’ doesn’t want him around either.”
9. Carl Edwards: Edwards was caught up in a lap 1 incident at Pocono that left him at the back of the field. But the No. 99 Kellogg’s/Cheez It team battled back, and Edwards bagged a solid 11th, and improved one spot to 11th in the point standings.
“I bringing up the rear in the point standings among Roush Fenway drivers,” Edwards said. “My teammates, Matt Kenseth and Greg Biffle, are still quite supportive. They greatly appreciate the distance I’ve put between us.”
10. Joey Logano: Logano started on pole and led a race-high 49 laps at Pocono, but needed a late pass of Mark Martin to capture his first win since 2009. In a contract year, Logano made a strong case for Joe Gibbs Racing to resign NASCAR’s youngest Sprint Cup driver.
“How about that bump I gave Martin before I slipped past him?” Logano said. “I kicked the old guard old school. If Mark’s upset, I’m sure I could get a note from my father excusing me.
“My win should go a long way in getting a new deal with JGR. I’m expecting to get paid. Soon, there will be more ‘bread’ in ‘Sliced Bread.’”
