Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished third at Richmond, posting his third top-five of the season.
“My car sported the ‘Jockey’ paint scheme,” Chastain said. “That makes sense because when people see me near them on the track, the automatic response is to ask themselves, ‘Am I wearing clean underwear?'”
2. Kyle Larson: Larson took the lead with a quick pit stop on lap 375 and held on through two restarts to win the Toyota Owners 400.
“I’ve had some bad luck this season,” Larson said, “so I was quite surprised with the race at Richmond. Not because I won, but because it went the advertised distance.”
3. William Byron: Byron won Stage 1 at Richmond and challenged for the win late until contact from Christopher Bell sent him spinning on a lap 381 restart. Byron finished 24th.
“I think it’s safe to say I’m obligated to retaliate,” Byron said. “So, I’ll have ‘Bell to pay,’ while Christopher will have ‘hell to pay.'”
4. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh in the Toyota Owners 400.
“It was a great drive by Kyle Larson,” Logano said. “He was working with a fill-in crew chief while Cliff Daniels is serving a four-race suspension. Hendrick Motorsports proved they are a powerhouse. Obviously, they can win with less, and at Phoenix, they already proved they can win with more.”
5. Christopher Bell: Bell led 26 laps and finished fourth in the Toyota Owners 400.
“I made late contact with William Byron,” Bell said. “It pretty much cost him any chance of winning. But I blamed Ross Chastain for it. Then I saw the replay, which showed that Chastain wasn’t at fault. Then I apologized to Byron, but not Chastain. So, let’s try this: I blame Denny Hamlin since he’s the one that gave Ross this reputation.”
6. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 14th at Richmond.
“A lot of people say Daniel Suarez reminds them of me,” Busch said. “You know, talented, but with a temper. In fact, if you cross Daniel Suarez with Kyle Busch, you’ll get a ‘Mexican standoffish.'”
7. Alex Bowman: Bowman came home eighth at Richmond, recording his sixth top 10 of the year.
“A NASCAR appeals panel rescinded the 100-point penalty NASCAR levied against us for an illegal part at Phoenix,” Bowman said. “Our response to winning the appeal was the same as it was when we found out about the penalty, because both times we said, ‘We did it!'”
8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started 10th at Richmond and finished fifth. He is sixth in the point standings, 40 out of first.
“I see this William Byron-Christopher Bell-Ross Chastain controversy progressing to some real animosity,” Harvick said. “Much like my situation with Jeff Gordon and Brad Keselowski back in 2014 at Texas, theirs could also become a ‘Shove Triangle.'”
9. Ryan Blaney: Blaney suffered a disappointing 26th at Richmond, his day marred by a disastrous pit stop early in the race.
“We left a wrench in the car during a pit stop that cost us a penalty,” Blaney said. “Although my crew member simply placed the wrench on the car, you might as well as say he threw it in there.”
10. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won Stage 2 but saw his victory aspirations done in by a slow pit stop that cost him the lead. He eventually finished 20th.
“We blew a right front tire,” Hamlin said. “Well, that’s not completely accurate. We blew a right front tire change.”
