Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kyle Larson: Larson won Stage 1 and held off Christopher Bell down the stretch to win the South Point 400 at Las Vegas.
“I am so thrilled,” Larson said, “that I want to shout my excitement over the airwaves. But I’ve been strongly advised against doing anything out over the airwaves.”
2. William Byron: Byron finished sixth at Las Vegas and is 11 points above the playoff cut line.
“This championship may come down to two Hendrick Motorsports drivers,” Byron said. “And neither is named ‘Chase Elliott.’ I know saying that won’t win me any ‘most popular’ contests, but I’ll vote for that.”
3. Christopher Bell: Bell finished second at Las Vegas, as he was unable to get by Kyle Larson in the closing laps.
“I was so close,” Bell said. “But Larson made all the right moves to keep me at bay. But I have to forget it and move forward. Like Larson, I’m going to ‘block’ this out of my mind.”
4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished ninth in the South Point 400.
“It’s ‘crunch time,'” Hamlin said. “In most cases, ‘crunch time’ means Ross Chastain is somewhere in your vicinity. Not in this case.”
5. Tyler Reddick: Reddick finished seventh at Las Vegas, one of four Toyotas in the top 10.
“When you’re driving a car co-owned by Michael Jordan,” Reddick said, “it feels like the greatest basketball player is in the car with you. In Las Vegas, it feels like the greatest basketball player is in the car with you, and there’s a lot of money riding not with you, but on you.”
6. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished eight at Las Vegas.
“I feel like I regained my mojo,” Truex said. “When you can do that without the aid of some gas station bathroom snake oil tincture, then you have truly regained it.”
7. Chris Buescher: Buescher finished 10th in the South Point 400.
“Thanks to Ryan Blaney’s disqualification,” Buescher said, “I’m not bringing up the ‘South Point’ of the championship standings.”
8. Kyle Busch: Busch finished third in the South Point 400.
“My car featured the Morgan & Morgan Law Firm as primary sponsor,” Busch said. “They are a personal injury law firm, but if you need them to pull some strings to keep you out of a Mexican prison, then they can do that too. But only if your name is Kyle Busch.”
9. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished fifth at Las Vegas.
“Too little,” Chastain said, “too late. I’m out of the championship hunt, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have another ‘Martinsville Moment’ and keep Denny Hamlin out of the championship round. To me, that’s like winning the Cup championship.”
10. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished sixth at Las Vegas, but was later disqualified after failing post-race inspection.
“This really puts a dent in my championship hopes,” Blaney said. “Actually, it puts a dent, four flat tires, and an engine failure in my championship hopes.”
