Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Daniel Suárez: Suarez surged late and edged Ryan Blaney and Kyle Busch at the line in a photo finish to win the Ambetter Health 400.
“That may have been the greatest moment of my racing career,” Suarez said, “followed by the most disappointing, because I celebrated by smashing a taco pinata, but it was empty.”
2. Ryan Blaney: Blaney fell short by mere fractions of a second, taking second to Daniel Suarez in a photo finish that decided the Ambetter Health 400.
“Congratulations to Daniel,” Blaney said. “He chose the right line and deserved to win. So, I say, ‘Good job, amigo.’ Next time, though, you will see ‘me go’ faster.”
3. Kyle Busch: Busch finished third in the Ambetter Health 400, coming up just short in a photo finish at the finish line.
“We were so close,” Busch said. “I told myself before the race that we could win this race. And when you tell yourself that, it’s all about believing it. And let me tell you, I’m way better at convincing myself as opposed to a state trooper.”
4. Bubba Wallace: Wallace finished fifth at Atlanta.
“My car sported the ‘MoneyLion’ paint scheme,” Wallace said. “MoneyLion is a personal finance tech company. I hear it’s pretty popular. In other words, there’s ‘great interest’ in MoneyLion.”
5. William Byron: Byron finished 17th in the Ambetter Health 400 and leads the Cup series points standings.
“The race was filled with crashes,” Byron said. “There were only seven cars that weren’t involved in an accident. That’s amazing. What’s more amazing is that Ross Chastain was on that list. Not surprisingly, he took drivers off that list.”
6. Austin Cindric: Cindric led 32 laps and finished fourth at Atlanta.
“You probably heard that Joey Logano had to start at the rear of the field because of a penalty for ‘illegal gloves,'” McDowell said. “That’s a new one on me. I didn’t know there was such a thing as ‘performance-enhancing gloves.’ I’m sure that irritated Joey. Whatever altering he did to his gloves, I can assure you Joey left the middle fingers intact.”
7. Michael McDowell: McDowell started on the pole and won Stage 1 at Atlanta, on his way to an eighth in the Ambetter Health 400.
“I think I’ve proven I can run with the big dogs,” McDowell said. “So don’t sleep on me as a contender for the Cup championship. If you do want to sleep, attend the upcoming race at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.”
8. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished seventh at Atlanta.
“There were quite a few big names knocked out of the race in accidents,” Chastain said. “Amazingly, none were my fault. The fewer cars in contention, the better my odds of winning. I call it ‘Attrition by subtraction.'”
9. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led nine laps and finished 12th in the Ambetter Health 400.
“I guess I’m now NASCAR’s elder statesman,” Truex said. “It makes sense because I’ve been racing for over 20 years. You can call me an ‘old fart’ and I won’t argue, because that’s pretty much what my driver’s seat smells like after all these years.”
10. Chase Elliott: Elliott started at the rear of the field due to pre-race adjustments and came home 15th in Atlanta.
“I was in an early accident that really damaged my No. 9 Chevy,” Elliott said. “So we had to make quite a few stops and make repairs when we could. And it’s the subtle changes that really matter. And since we’re talking ‘subtlety,’ nothing says ‘subtle’ like the owl’s eyes on my Hooters-sponsored car.”
