Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fifth at Michigan and maintained the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings. He leads second-place Brad Keselowski by 25 points.
“Kyle Larson ran a great race,” Harvick said, “as did runner-up Chase Elliott. Those are two of the youngest drivers in NASCAR. Their combined age is 44. So, you could say ‘Youth was served’ on Sunday at Michigan, but not before ID’s were checked.”
2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished third at Michigan, posting his 11th top-five result of the season.
“Recent wind tunnel testing showed that Fords are at an aerodynamic disadvantage to the Chevys and Toyotas,” Keselowski said. “Who cares? You know what I say to the wind tunnel engineers when the No. 2 Miller Lite is set for testing? ‘Blow me.’”
3. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole at Michigan and led 24 laps en route to a 10th-place finish.
“That’s my second pole at Michigan this season,” Logano said. “This is amazing! Usually, when I hear the word ‘pole,’ it’s preceded by the word ‘bean.’”
4. Kyle Busch: Busch suffered an early spin at Michigan and fell a lap down before eventually finishing 19th. He is sixth in the points standings, 103 out of first.
“The No. 18 car got away from me,” Busch said, “much like the No. 5 car ‘got away from me’ when I was a young, stubborn pain in the butt with Hendrick Motorsports. But I’ve matured. Now, I’m an older, stubborn pain in the butt with Joe Gibbs Racing.”
5. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin qualified third and raced to a ninth-place finish at Michigan, posting his 13th top-10 result of the year.
“Congratulation to Kyle Larson,” Hamlin said. “He has a ton of talent and is going to be challenging for wins for years to come. Kyle epitomizes the future of NASCAR because he’s white.”
6. Kurt Busch: Busch took 12th in the Pure Michigan 400, joining Stewart-Haas Racing teammate Kevin Harvick in the top 12.
“Our other teammates, Tony Stewart and Danica Patrick, had mediocre days,” Busch said. “Danica hasn’t had a top-12 finish all year. She’s lucky she has a job, and she’s lucky that Tony is fond of her. There’s nothing that Tony likes more than a meal ticket, and that’s being a meal ticket.”
7. Carl Edwards: Edwards started ninth in the Pure Michigan 400 and finished seventh, two spots behind Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin in seventh.
“Michigan’s two-mile D-shaped layout is a really fast track,” Edwards said. “Top speeds approached 220 miles per hour. That’s pure speed, and that’s certainly fitting in the Pure Michigan 400. Brooklyn, Michigan is proud to host this race, and I’m sure the town of Flint, Michigan would be proud to host the ‘Pure Water 400.’”
8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex struggled to a 20th-place finish in the Pure Michigan 400.
“The day belonged to Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott,” Truex said. “I never really was competitive. In the Furniture Row’s chair department parlance, I took a ‘back seat’ to those guys.”
9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson started second and led 37 laps at Michigan on his way to a sixth-place finish.
“We had a slow pit stop just past the midway point,” Johnson said. “That’s because the gas man had a problem getting the fuel in the tank. For this race, my gas man earned an octane rating of zero.”
10. Kyle Larson: Larson passed Chase Elliott on a restart with nine laps remaining to capture the Pure Michigan 400 at Michigan International Speedway. The win secured a spot for Larson in the Chase For The Cup, which begins September 18 at Chicagoland.
“I made Elliott my ‘Target,” Larson said, “and the Chase was on. That was a sponsor plug, a rival driver plug, and a plug for the NASCAR postseason in one sentence. I have truly arrived in this sport.”
