Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. William Byron: Byron finished second at Charlotte as A.J. Allmendinger won on the Roval.
“I already had my spot in the Round Of 8 sewed up,” Byron said, “so I was out there just enjoying a leisurely Sunday drive. But things always get a lot less leisurely once I park the car for a NASCAR inspection.”
2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin experienced late issues at Charlotte and finished 37th in the Bank Of America Roval 400.
“Finishing dead last is never good,” Hamlin said. “But I’ve just got to put this behind me and move on. I have experience in forgetting a race and moving on. Unfortunately, it’s often the last race of the season I have to forget and move on from.”
3. Tyler Reddick: Reddick started on the pole at Charlotte and won Stage 1 on his way ro a sixth-place finish. Reddick advanced to the Round Of 8.
“I almost feel unbeatable with the Air Jordan logo on my car,” Reddick said. “It’s like Michael is my co-pilot. Of course, he’s a co-pilot who won’t stop smoking cigars, won’t stop betting on things, and won’t stop criticizing Scottie Pippen.”
4. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 12th at Charlotte.
“I really like my chances to win the Cup championship,” Blaney said. “I don’t know if I necessarily like my car to win it, though.”
5. Chris Buescher: Buescher finished seventh at Charlotte.
“My car was primarily sponsored by Fifth Third Bank,” Buescher said. “Compared to A.J. Allmendinger’s, my engine seemed to be working at three-fifths power.”
6. Christopher Bell: Bell started second at Charlotte and finished 15th.
“Joe Gibbs Racing has three cars in the Round Of 8,” Bell said. “If my math is correct, that means one car did not make it. That would be Ty Gibbs, and it seems he was ‘grandfathered’ out.”
7. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 13th at Charlotte.
“Elimination races are always tense,” Larson said. “The tension is so thick, you can’t even cut it with a knife, but I can use a block of it to stand in to look six feet tall.”
8. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex finished 20th and advanced to the Round Of 8, claiming the last spot by 12 points over Ross Chastain.
“Had this been on an oval course,” Truex said. “I would have worried a lot more about Chastain pulling some miracle finish and eliminating me. I think it’s much more difficult for Ross to pull a ‘Martinsville’ on a road course, but I think he probably should have given it a try.”
9. Kyle Busch: Needing a win to advance to the Round Of 8, Busch came up just short, finishing third at Charlotte.
“I’m really gonna miss racing for this sport’s biggest prize,” Busch said. “But when you put it into perspective, winning isn’t really that important. I mean, I didn’t advance to the next round. Big deal. I could very easily have been rotting in a Mexican prison.”
10. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished 10th in the Bank Of America Roval 400 and did not advance to the Round Of 8.
“With Charlotte being an elimination race,” Chastain said, “it was no surprise that tempers were flaring. Also, with it being Charlotte, I’m sure, somewhere, Ric was ‘Flairing.'”
