Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. William Byron: Byron took charge late at Martinsville and survived an overtime restart to take the win in the Cook Out 400.
“At Martinsville,” Byron said, “it’s all about patience. And Martinsville is like the Ross Chastain of tracks because it will test your patience, time and time again.”
2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won Stage 2 and was in contention all day on his way to an 11th at Martinsville.
“Any time the Sports Clips paint scheme adorns my No. 11 Toyota,” Hamlin said. “You know the car is in race trim.”
3. Kyle Larson: Larson started on the pole, won Stage 1, and finished second in the Cook Out 400 at Martinsville.
“Erik Jones was driving a car sponsored by Family Dollar,” Larson said. “Similarly, the reason Ty and Austin Dillon are in racing is because of Family Dollars.”
4. Ryan Blaney: Blaney surged in the final stage at Martinsville, grabbing a fifth-place finish.
“Every driver longs to win Martinsville’s famous grandfather clock trophy,” Blaney said. “It may be the coolest, and largest, single-race trophy in NASCAR. If you win that trophy, you know you’ve hit the ‘Big Time.'”
5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex was consistently in the top 10 at Martinsville on his way to an 18th-place finish in the Cook Out 400.
“I’m still pissed that Denny Hamlin wasn’t called for jumping the final restart at Richmond,” Truex said. “I’m absolutely positive he did. I’m as sure he jumped the restart as much as I’m sure he’s never won a Cup championship.”
6. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished third at Martinsville, following Hendrick Motorsports teammates William Byron and Kyle Larson across the line. It was the first time any team finished 1-2-3 at the Virginia short track.
“Congratulations to William,” Elliott said. “He gets Martinsville’s famous grandfather clock trophy, also known as the only trophy in NASCAR that requires a hand truck. And who’ll be operating that hand truck? Alex Bowman, the HMS driver who failed the assignment of a 1-2-3-4 Hendrick sweep.”
7. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished eighth at Martinsville on a magical day for Hendrick Motorsports, as William Byron led a 1-2-3 sweep, along with Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott.
“This pretty much confirms the already firmly-held belief,” Bowman said, “that I’m the slowest of all Hendrick drivers.”
8. Bubba Wallace: Wallace started second and battled up front all day, eventually taking fourth at Martinsville.
“I had a spirited battle in Stage 2 with my car owner Denny Hamlin,” Wallace said. “And I think Denny got the best of me, which makes it a total boss move.”
9. Tyler Reddick: Reddick finished seventh at Martinsville.
“That was my best finish ever at Martinsville,” Reddick said. “So I feel like a celebration is in order. And how do you properly celebrate when in a tiny hick town in Virginia? By leaving.”
10. Christopher Bell: Bell’s day at Martinsville ended early when he hit the wall on Lap 110 after a wheel nut fell off. He finished 35th, four laps down.
“That was a real gut punch,” Bell said. “Much like a Martinsville hot dog, which I understand is not good for your digestive system because it’s made from a pig’s digestive system.”
