Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kyle Larson: Larson powered by Martin Truex Jr. and Chris Buescher for the lead on Lap 102 at Sonoma and cruised to the win in the Toyota/Save Mart 350, earning his third win of the season.
“I was born in Elk Grove, California,” Larson said, “so it feels good to win in my home state. Sonoma is wine country, so I bet a lot of my fans raised a glass in my honor. I raised one in my opponents’ honor because they were ‘toast.'”
2. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished fourth at Sonoma, posting his sixth top-five this season.
“I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of the Ross Chastain-Kyle Busch incident,” Elliott said. “Chastain and Busch are two of NASCAR’s biggest personalities. They’re unlike any other driver. They’re also unliked by any other driver.”
3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin’s day ended early at Sonoma when his engine blew on Lap 2. He finished last in the 38-car field.
“I’m not used to saying this,” Hamlin said, “but ‘I just beat your favorite driver (to our respective hauler for the post-race shower.)'”
4. Christopher Bell: Bell started 15th and finished ninth in the Toyota/Save Mart 350.
“I was the only Joe Gibbs Racing driver in the top 10,” Bell said. “In fact, Denny Hamlin and Ty Gibbs finished last and next to last, respectively. Joe Gibbs is outraged that Denny’s engine blew so early. As far as his grandson Ty’s plight, well, he’s just ‘relatively’ upset.”
5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 13th at Sonoma.
“The race featured two Australian Supercar drivers,” Keselowski said, “Will Brown and Cam Waters. Those guys finished 31st and 35th, respectively, which is well ‘down under’ where they’d have to finish for me to view them as threats.”
6. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished seventh at Sonoma, posting his sixth top 10 of the year.
“The first half of the race was pure chaos,” Blaney said. “Incidentally, the term ‘pure chaos’ is the exact opposite of my father Dave Blaney, a man who’s so laid back he’s prone.”
7. Ty Gibbs: Gibbs smashed the Turn 11 wall on Lap 16, damaging his right front beyond repair and ending his day. He finished 37th.
“I consider myself a pretty good road course racer,” Gibbs said. “So the only thing more damaged than my car is my ego.”
8. Tyler Reddick: Reddick finished eighth in the Toyota/Save Mart 350.
“I led the most laps of any driver,” Reddick said. “And all I have to show for it is a measly top-10 finish, and a lousy t-shirt.”
9. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex ran out of fuel on the final lap with the finish line in sight. Instead of taking the runner-up spot, Truex finished a disappointing 27th.
“If I had to give us a letter grade on the day,” Truex said, “I would give us an ‘E.'”
10. William Byron: Byron had an eventful day at Sonoma, with a number of issues leading to a 30th-place finish.
“It was just one of those days,” Byron said. “I think we’ve all had one of those days, or something similar. Kyle Busch had ‘1’ of those days at Sonoma when he was dumped by Ross Chastain.”
